So it's technically Thursday. And I can't sleep. For years after John and Sophie died I couldn't sleep - just quite literally couldn't get off to sleep until I would crash about 4.30am. Not a good look for a teacher with 34 12 year olds! So I started taking half a sleeping pill every night and have been doing that for years. But, since I have been over here, and perhaps not worrying about things so much, I decided to try to be pill-less again. I started when I was in the Emirates over New Year with Sheryl, and it worked! So, with just an occasional bad night thrown in to keep me on my toes, I have been sleeping fairly normally.
But no, my conversations I have with myself in my head have become insistent again, and for whatever reason I am back to just lying there and feeling damned frustrated. Sure it's pretty hot at night at the moment, but that's not it. I try not to churn about things. Why am I not relaxed all of a sudden? Why can I not be like a normal person and get to sleep? Do any of you Bloggers and Blog Readers suffer in a like manner? Your responses will be welcomed. :-)
3 comments:
i wish i had wisdom of my own to share to share but i dont. heres a little something from one of my sisters. she put it in one of those facebook notes; something i never knew about her.
3) I would like to meditate but I cannot. The closest I get is when I cannot sleep; in my mind I walk through my childhood home, from the top of the driveway, down the front path, through the back door and through all the rooms of the house. Mum is in the kitchen smoking out the window. Dad is in his chair in the lounge reading the newspaper. My siblings are scattered around, as are Tama, Chico, and Harvey. Often I am asleep before I get to the internal stairs. I wonder if the people who live there now can feel me in the house.
:D
oops - should have proof read first.
I try to just enjoy the awake time and not worry, but that is of course when you don't have to get up at a particular time in the morning.I hope your sleeping patterns have improved.
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